I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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