he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
