I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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