my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
soo... how was my night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
