My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
