Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
