I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
