i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
