you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
