after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
