the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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