how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
