remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
