Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Randomize
