So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
