Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
