i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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