I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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