I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
3 2 1 whiskey
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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