my vag is so smooth its legendary
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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