who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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