i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
