it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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