And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
