Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
