I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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