he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just found puke in my bra..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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