Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
