You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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