please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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