i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
