sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
