the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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