no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
