Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
