plz talk dirty to me
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
be right there i have to get my cape
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize