i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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