Betty ford says i'm here all night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
