You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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