Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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