i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
