New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
