we have pet lesbian snakes
love makes seman taste better
The best revenge is premature balding
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize