I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
