I must be too annoying 4 u.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
