dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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