Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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