What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
