cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
