Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
