it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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