If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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