Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The air was thick with penises
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
