i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
