also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
