You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
