Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
