I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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